Struggles of a Direct Sales Romance Consultant

Dear Lynsey,

I am a Romance Consultant and I have a great bunch of loyal clients and community supporters, but I find that sometimes I have more doors shut in my face than I would if I were with like a jewelry or candle company. There are places I just can not seem to get into because they can’t get past the toys. I have started not even mentioning the toys as I sell a whole catalog of other stuff, but people know us by the toys so they say things like “This is not a route our business wants to take”. I’m getting better at dealing with rejection but it’s  a little discerning. Any suggestions?

Unfortunately, even as far as the World has come, there are a great many people who still pass judgment on the Adult Party Plan Industry. Even more unfortunate is the many Consultants who run their businesses in a less than respectable way, giving those with a raised eye brow more reason to judge.

Remember that you only get one chance at a first impression – so how are you presenting yourself? Are you dressed for success?  Are you using proper, respectable language?  Do you look like a strong, confident business woman? Remember that communication is just as much HOW you say something as it is WHAT you say.  Body language us huge!  Remember also that being “sexy” in that industry is one of the worst things you can project.  You want to be thought of as a respectable business woman, not a floozy.  Your main clientele is women – not men – and women do not respond well to other women trying to exude sexiness. It is not the first impression you want to make.

You talk about not mentioning toys – statistics show that less than 25% of sales come from actual toys.  So absolutely, focus on the main purpose for your parties – strengthening relationships. Replace your words – use terms such as romance, intimacy, making love, sensuality… it’s really NOT all about sex.

As a Romance Consultant you must present yourself as just that – a ROMANCE Consultant.  Romance is not necessarily about sexuality.  Your job is to educate women (and men) on how to keep the romance alive when “life” gets in the way. Even those individuals who raise an eyebrow over your occupation can not argue that romance and intimacy is seriously lacking in many of today’s relationships – shown of course by the 60% divorce rate in America.

You are a Relationship Coach, first and foremost.  If you do not focus on the sexuality side of the business, it will show that you are genuinely working to help people strengthen their relationships, not just sell “sex toys.”  Carry yourself to a higher standard and remember that the world is incredibly transparent – meaning everything you say, do, tweet, etc is being seen by more people than you will ever know.  You must be mindful of every single thing that you do, and get in the habit of asking “is this something I want to reflect on the way people treat me in business?”

People will treat you in accordance to the kind of person you present them with – if you come in as a strong, helpful, respectable business woman who is “helping to bring down the divorce rate one marriage at a time,” people will be much more receptive to what you have to offer.

Comments

  1. Thank you for writing this! It is very helpful. As a Passion Consultant I offer a valuable service. I believe I am bringing couples together and empowering women. I am going to utilize these tips right away and share this with my team!

  2. Lynsey- That is very well put! I realize that you do party plan coaching for every direct sell business there is. But I do wish that you also had a part II party plan coaching directly for people like us who have direct sell pleasure party business. You have strong points and a great teaching technique. hmmm maybe you can do a conference call focusing on pleasure party topics one day. I hope you consider that. :) Thank you again Lynsey.

  3. Great tips!

  4. I know this post is older, but it is still solid advice! Thank you for being so articulate and supportive, encouraging!

  5. Thank you for writing this @Lynsey.

  6. THANK YOU!! This is a constant issue for my business. I do Surprise Parties, which is also in the “Romance” industry. I love your response and explanation. I am going to share this w/ the rest of my team. THANK YOU!

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