Crabs in a Bucket: Overcoming Negativity to Build Your Direct Sales Success
One time a man was walking along the beach and saw another man fishing in the surf with a bait bucket beside him.
As he drew closer, he saw that the bait bucket had no lid and had live crabs inside.
“Why don’t you cover your bait bucket so the crabs won’t escape?” he asked.
“You don’t understand,” the fisherman replied. “If there is one crab in the bucket, it would surely crawl out very quickly. However, when there are many crabs in the bucket, if one tries to crawl up the side, the others grab hold of it and pull it back down so that it will share the same fate as the rest of them.”
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HAVE YOU MET YOUR CRABS?
How many times have you been a victim of the “Crabs in a Bucket” mentality?
How many times have you been pulled back down – both figuratively and literally – maybe even by someone that you love? How many times have you been told things like “Gosh, you shouldn’t do that, do you know how many people fail?” or “You know my cousin tried that and all she did was spend money and never make any” or maybe it came more subtly – “Girl, is your head in the clouds? That’s CRAZY! That will NEVER work!”
If you’re in direct sales, I’d be willing to bet you’ve heard every single one of these statements. Probably within the first week of starting your business.
Sadly, this scenario has presented itself many times in my lifetime – from the time I stepped up to take over the ColorGuard in high school to the time I was offered a major position that required me leaving my “friends” at work.
Even as I moved on in my direct sales business, I was faced again and again with this scenario.
Each time I was met with animosity, anger, and resentment… not the support or encouragement I was hoping to receive (and deserved!).
THE CRABS ARE EVERYWHERE (EVEN AT THE TOP)
Since returning home from a speaking engagement in Ohio last weekend, I’ve had a few experiences with… well… crabs. Both in my own life and in stories I’ve heard from my coaching clients.
It seems that for whatever reason, people are struggling to be supportive right now, and others are struggling from that lack of support. It’s a vicious – and dangerous – cycle.
Here’s what I’ve learned: The crab bucket mentality doesn’t disappear as you climb higher. In fact, sometimes it gets worse. The higher you climb in your direct sales business – whether that’s hitting a new rank, earning your first incentive trip, or building a thriving team – the more threatened some people will feel.
And here’s the kicker: those “crabs” aren’t always strangers or distant acquaintances. Sometimes they’re your closest friends, your family members, even people on your own team.
UNDERSTANDING WHY PEOPLE PULL YOU DOWN
Now, for some, I believe the “crab” is trying to protect us. Fear of the unknown is pretty paralyzing for some people. They think that by pulling us away from the “scary” unknown, they’ll protect us and keep us from failure. (The problem is that it keeps us from succeeding as well.)
These are the people who genuinely love you and can’t bear to see you disappointed. They remember every pyramid scheme scandal they’ve ever heard about. They know someone who lost money in a business venture. They’re afraid you’ll be hurt, embarrassed, or broke.
Their fear masquerades as wisdom. Their anxiety presents itself as practical advice.
For others, however, it isn’t quite so honorable. As my friend and business coach Wanda Taylor would say, “Some people just like to spread their nasty around.”
These are the people who are deeply unhappy with their own circumstances and can’t stand to see you breaking free. Your success highlights their inaction. Your courage emphasizes their fear. Your growth reminds them of their stagnation.
Your success isn’t a judgment on them – but it feels like one.
THE BUSINESS PRINCIPLE: YOU BECOME LIKE THE FIVE PEOPLE YOU SPEND THE MOST TIME WITH
There’s a famous quote often attributed to motivational speaker Jim Rohn: “You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.”
In direct sales, this principle is critical to understand and apply. If you’re surrounding yourself with people who doubt your dreams, criticize your goals, and question your decisions, you will eventually start to doubt yourself too.
This is why successful direct sellers prioritize three things:
- Finding a mentor who’s already where you want to be. Someone who’s climbed out of the bucket and can show you the way. This might be your upline, a leader in your company, or even someone outside your organization who inspires you.
- Building a community of like-minded entrepreneurs. These are your accountability partners, your cheerleaders, your reality-checkers. They understand the journey because they’re on it too. They celebrate your wins and encourage you through your setbacks.
- Protecting their energy and mindset fiercely. This means setting boundaries with negative people, even if those people are family. It means choosing carefully what you consume – from social media to conversations at family dinners.
THE RESULT IS ALWAYS THE SAME (UNLESS YOU CHANGE IT)
Either way – whether the crabs in your life mean well or mean harm – the result is the same most of the time. It takes a very strong person to resist being pulled down and overcome the fate of the others.
But it can be done. And those who overcome being pulled down by their peers are the only ones who will find true, undeniable success.
Those who do manage to “climb out of the bucket” will again find the “ocean” and their freedom.
In your direct sales business, climbing out of the bucket looks like:
- Showing up consistently even when no one believes in you
- Investing in your business when others say you’re wasting money
- Setting goals that sound “unrealistic” to people who’ve never achieved them
- Building a team when people say you’re “just recruiting”
- Celebrating your wins even when others minimize them
- Continuing to grow even when friends stop inviting you to things because “all you talk about is your business”
HOW TO PROTECT YOURSELF FROM THE CRABS
Recognize them. The first step is awareness. Who in your life consistently discourages you? Who makes you feel small? Who questions every decision? Even if they say they love you, even if they claim they’re just being “realistic” – recognize the pattern.
Set boundaries. You don’t have to cut people out of your life entirely, but you do need to protect your dreams from their negativity. Stop sharing your goals with people who won’t support them. Stop asking for advice from people who’ve never done what you’re trying to do.
Find your people. Actively seek out communities, masterminds, Facebook groups, and friendships with people who are growth-minded. Invest in conferences, training events, and coaching programs. Surround yourself with people who are climbing out of their own buckets.
Document your journey. Keep a success journal where you track your wins, no matter how small. When the crabs get loud, you’ll need evidence of your progress to remind you why you’re doing this.
Remember your why. When someone tries to pull you back down, reconnect with your reason for starting this business. Is it financial freedom? More time with your kids? The ability to travel? A sense of purpose? Let that vision pull you forward when others are trying to hold you back.
MORAL TO THE STORY: IGNORE THE CRABS IN YOUR LIFE
Ignore the crabs you have in your life. Recognize who they are – even if they are the people you love the most – and ignore them.
They may have the best of intentions, thinking they are doing good by trying to “protect” you from failure, but in fact, they are holding you back from success.
You must do what is right for you – win or lose. Because whether you succeed or fail, you will never have the same fate as those who never tried.
In direct sales, the graveyard is full of “what ifs” and “I wish I hads.” Don’t let fear – yours or anyone else’s – write your story.
You deserve to chase your dreams. You deserve to build something meaningful. You deserve support and encouragement.
And if you don’t have that in your immediate circle, know that there’s a whole community of direct sellers out there who understand exactly what you’re going through. We’ve been called crazy too. We’ve been doubted too. We’ve had to climb out of our own buckets.
And we’re here cheering you on.
A MESSAGE FOR THE CRABS
PS – If you are a crab pulling someone down… stop it. The world would be a better place if we learned to support each other no matter what – even if you think the idea is crazy.
“Crazy” is what put a man on the moon, connected the world through a wire, and put a mini-computer in the palm of your hand. Imagine where we would be without those “crazy” people who climbed out of the bucket.
Your job isn’t to protect people from failure. Your job is to love them through whatever comes – success or setback. Because the truth is, the only real failure is never trying at all.
YOUR NEXT STEPS
If this story resonated with you, I encourage you to take action today:
- Identify your crabs. Write down the names of people who consistently discourage you. You don’t need to confront them, but you do need to recognize the pattern.
- Find one supportive person. Just one. It could be someone in your upline, a fellow team member, or someone you connect with online. Start building your community of encouragers.
- Recommit to your goals. Pull out that vision board, rewrite your goals, or simply remind yourself why you started this journey. Don’t let anyone dim your light.
You’ve got this, friend. And I’m cheering you on every step of the way.
RESOURCES TO HELP YOU CLIMB OUT OF THE BUCKET
Building a successful direct sales business requires the right mindset, tools, and support. Here are three products I personally recommend to help you stay focused, inspired, and motivated on your journey:
- “Think and Grow Rich” by Napoleon Hill – This classic personal development book has helped millions of entrepreneurs develop the mindset necessary for success. It’s a must-read for anyone serious about building their business and overcoming limiting beliefs. Amazon search: Think and Grow Rich Napoleon Hill
- Goal Setting & Success Journal – Track your daily wins, set intentional goals, and document your journey out of the bucket. Having a physical record of your progress is powerful when doubt creeps in. Amazon search: goal setting planner for women
- Affirmation Cards for Entrepreneurs – Start your day with positive, empowering affirmations designed specifically for business owners. These are perfect for combating negative self-talk and the discouraging words of others. Amazon search: positive affirmation cards for women entrepreneurs
